We here at Citizens Against Kern have had a change of heart. After a few days of soul searching we have come to the realization that Commissioner Kern is the best man on the Whitehall commission. He is honest, loyal, able to bring people together, make difficult decisions and reach compromises in tough situations. For nearly four years Kern has helped make Whitehall the gem of the Lehigh Valley. He put his family and work on the side and adopted a “Whitehall First” attitude. If you have a problem with your sewer bill, Kern is ready to help. If you have a question about taxes, Kern is ready to help. If you have suggestions about how Whitehall can be better governed, Kern will listen.
He has immeasurably high standards and morality. Kern is immune to the powers of persuasion. If it’s bad for Whitehall, it’s bad for Kern. If he says taxes should be raised, then darn it they should be.
Whitehall needs Kern. We here at CACK implore him to reconsider his decision not to run for re-election. We offer to help him streak to victory in November and do anything we can. We’re motivated and apologize for not seeing the light sooner.
So to Commissioner Kern, we offer you our assistance. We propose an alliance to keep Whitehall safe from the union reps and recycled politicians who are fighting for power. They don’t have Whitehall’s best interest at heart. Kern does.
From this moment on this movement will be known as Citizens FOR Kyle Kern.
Proud Supporters of Commissioner Kern
P.S. April Fools