I write this from my phone while sitting on the toilet. I ate at Griddle 145 this morning and cannot stop pooping. My It’s a constant green stream ever since I swallowed the gruel those folks at Griddle 145 call food. Ugh!!!
A little background info. I saw on MCall.com that a new restaurant had opened up on 145. Immediately, I had the urge to avoid this place at all costs. Instinctively, I believed the food would not be good and this place will probably be closed by Christmas. Nevertheless, I gave it a shot. The place is owned by a husband and wife. I met both of them this morning and was not impressed even before I tasted the food. They are, in essence, a trendy yuppie couple who have probably sunk their entire nest egg into Griddle 145. More about all of that later. Let me talk about the food first off.
My wife and I went to Griddle 145 for breakfast. I ordered the Bay Omelet and she went for the Red Velvet Pancakes which is supposed to be their signature dish. The Bay Omelet is supposed to have crab meat, asparagus and Boursin cheese inside of it. Instead of fresh crab there was imitation crab meat instead. The asparagus was very real but tasted as if it came out of a can. The Boursin cheese was actually just plain old cream cheese…I know Boursin cheese and this was not it! The toast was soggy and the breakfast potatoes dry and void of flavor. The eggs were runny.The price tag for the dish is $10.95, however, it was worth maybe half of that.
The Red Velvet pancakes were a disaster. Essentially one big ball of sweet under the guise of a breakfast. The pancakes had no texture, just two mounds of red goo. The maple syrup cream cheese was disgusting beyond description. I thought we’d go down and enjoy a nice breakfast from a home grown restaurant on our day off.
The joke was on us. Now we are both suffering from some very violent sprays. My wife is in the downstairs bathroom, I’m upstairs. It sounds like that scene from Dumb and Dumber when Harry drinks the laxative. It’s a mess. Explosive diarrhea on both floors of the house. All thanks to some under cooked food or bad ingredients from Griddle 145. No toilet bowl deserves this kind of suffering.
Griddle 145 makes Yoccos look like Peter Luger’s Steakhouse. Seriously, it’s that bad. The two owners have apparently watched too much of the Food Network. They think they can cook. Apparently no one has told these hipsters that they cannot. Maybe because they didn’t want to offend them. So be it. The trendy owners have probably sank their entire nest egg into Griddle 145 and I hope they lose every last cent after the terrible food they served.
And don’t even get me started on the decor……the wife decorated the place and she must be color blind.
Half a star rating for Griddle 145 because the wife looks like the hooker in Full Metal Jacket.